2 Corinthians 2:16-17

"To one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life, Who is sufficient for these things? For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God's word, but as men of sincerity, as comissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ."

Believing the Gospel

Believing the Gospel is slowly proving itself to be the most challenging and beautiful part of my life. The minute I begin to think that I understand Christ's love and sufficiency for me I am knocked off of my rocker by something new. His love is infinite and that is overwhelming. Christ's love and grace stretches infinitely and if I allow it, it is enough. Sometimes I wonder why I do not feel full in Christ. It is not because of him. It is me putting up walls around my vulnerability to allow him to satisfy me. Vulnerability is a funny thing. For a while I thought I wasn't afraid of it. I was lying to myself. I realized that I allow myself to be vulnerable in the situations that I am comfortable with being vulnerable in. I run from the vulnerability of my deepest issues. That if I reveal them to someone they will be ashamed or displeased with me. I am coming to terms with the fact that we are all this way. There is beauty in community. We are all sinners struggling with something. We should find hope and rest in each other and most importantly in Christ. 

"Babes in Christ."-1 Corinthians 3:1

Are you mourning, believer, because you are so weak in the divine life: because your faith is so little, your love so feeble? Cheer up, for you have cause for gratitude. Remember that in some things you are equal to the greatest and most full-grown Christian. You are as much bought with blood as he is. You are as much an adopted child of God as any other believer. An infant is as truly a child of its parents as is the full-grown man. You are as completely justified, for your justification is not a thing of degrees: your little faith has made you clean every whit. You have as much right to the precious things of the covenant as the most advanced believers, for your right to covenant mercies lies not in your growth, but in the covenant itself; and your faith in Jesus is not the measure, but the token of your inheritance in Him. You are as rich as the richest, if not in enjoyment, yet in real possession. The smallest star that gleams is set in heaven; the faintest ray of light !
 has affinity with the great orb of day. In the family register of glory the small and the great are written with the same pen. You are as dear to your Father's heart as the greatest in the family. Jesus is very tender over you. You are like the smoking flax; a rougher spirit would say, "put out that smoking flax, it fills the room with an offensive odour!" but the smoking flax He will not quench. You are like a bruised reed; and any less tender hand than that of the Chief Musician would tread upon you or throw you away, but He will never break the bruised reed. Instead of being downcast by reason of what you are, you should triumph in Christ. Am I but little in Israel? Yet in Christ I am made to sit in heavenly places. Am I poor in faith? Still in Jesus I am heir of all things. Though "less than nothing I can boast, and vanity confess." yet, if the root of the matter be in me I will rejoice in the Lord, and glory in the God of my salvation. C.H. Spurgeon 

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Cutest little man ever. Im obsessed. The end. 

"Because of these changes, we have more time for God. Spiritual concerns have filled the void left by material ones. Owning fewer things has resulted in things no longer owning us. We have put God to the test, and we have found His Word to be true. He has poured blessings and opportunities upon us. When we stopped living a life dedicated to consumerism our cup began to run over. We have seen miracles." Sleeth

Crazy Time

Crazy time: this is my brain all of the time. My brain is constantly ticking with thoughts. They may not make any sense but they are there. The leaves are changing and life is more beautiful than ever. Something about nature just does it for me. I wonder why i get so caught up in consumerism and materialism when I am the happiest at my most raw form. When I am all grubbed up, breathing in the fresh mountain air I am happy and still. I can rest in God's beautiful creation. So why do I become so wrapped up in material things? Why cant we as humans appreciate the beauty of nature? We separate ourselves from the natural cycle of life and I it is coming back for us. 

In Food, Culture, and Sustainability we have been reading The Omnivore's Dilemma. It is blowing my mind. I wish I lived on a farm and raised my own food. It is crazy to think that the majority of my food has traveled thousands of miles and has some form of corn in it. Sometimes when I think about sustainability and our future I want to cry. I feel hopeless. We seem to not want to change our ways. This is what my mind can not understand. We do not look after ourselves for the long haul. 

So I just rambled on for a little while and what really intrigues me about all of this is I wonder where all of this fits into my life as I try to allow the Gospel to become more and more real in my life every day. As I see God filling each one of us with the Holy Spirit. God is working through us and he is good, gracious, and merciful. 

^"8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— ⁹not by works, so that no one can boast."  Ephesians 2:8-9 

   This passage of scripture resinates with me daily. As I read it, it takes my breath away. This is a passage that I rest my faith on. Ephesians 2:8-9 explains the basis of my faith and relationship with Christ. God requires nothing of me; only that I have faith in Him and faith in his son Jesus Christ who died for my sin. Often times I try and fix my problems myself; I also try to live a "good" life. I look inward at myself; my actions are the means by which I make up for my sin. I try and trade a good behavior ( a mission trip or other community service) for sin ( such as telling a lie). In reality, this is my sin, relying on myself to make my life right. When I start trying to fix my life I remember this passage. For it is by the grace of God that I am saved and not by my own actions. I find rest in this passage because the pressure is not on me. I will in some way always fall to pressure and sin, but the Lord will never sin and remains perfect and Holy. Christ is our redemption and I am thankful. 

Not just sought, but "sought out"

That any should be sought out is matchless grace, but that we should be sought out is grace beyond degree! We can find no reason for it but God's own sovereign love, and can only lift up our heart in wonder, and praise the Lord that this night we wear the name of "Sought out." C.H. Spurgeon

something beautiful

^{just thought I'd share a little something sweet:}

John 15:9-17

⁹"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. ¹⁰If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. ¹¹I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. ¹²My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. ¹³Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. ¹⁴You are my friends if you do what I command. ¹⁵I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. ¹⁶You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. ¹⁷This is my command: Love each other.

Remaining with us

God is always with us. This is something that has been a topic in my life for like the past week. I love when the Lord tries to drill things in my head. It just pops up day after day whether it be a bible verse or a devotion. I am amazed by this concept. Even when we feel like I are alone in the world and there is no one to run to, he is there. As I am typing these words he is with me. I think that is what keeps me going. I know that whether i am struggling or bubbling with joy He is with me.  I guess I could even go as far as saying he is in us but i feel arrogant thinking that the creator of the earth is interesting in filling me with his amazing spirit. I do know though that he is within me whether or not i want to admit it; the only good i can do comes from him. This may not have made any sense at all and i might just be rambling but i just wanted to get it off of my mind and into words. 

Mistakes

The mistakes i make. It's funny how proud of myself i can be and then i make a mistake and it is SO SO hard for me to admit my mistake and accept constructive criticism. I guess this is all apart of being fallen from the Lord. I can do nothing worthwhile without him. As much as I dislike failure and making mistakes, they make me the person I am today. There is not a mistake I have made that, once I got over my pride, has not brought me closer to the Lord. That is the beauty in err. I have to humble myself before the Lord and realize that i can not do it without him. I have to daily take up my cross and trust in Christ's redemption. 

passion

Last night I came to the realization that the Lord has given me the gift of passion. I am so thankful for this! I know this is random but its just something i wanted to talk about. Last night was the region finals for girls and boys basketball. Our girls came into the tournament last in region and most people had there doubts about them getting past the first round. Well, we won that first round and beat a team that had solidly beaten us twice. The finals were exactly the same. We had lost to this team twice but our girls never gave up and beat them by two points in the finals. I say all of this because while these games were going on I was up in the stands cheering my sister on. I think that may be an understatement though, I was more like SCREAMING until my face turned red. I was passionate about the game; I wanted people to cheer. The fact that the court was below the stands and the girls could not hear us did not matter to me. These girls needed our support to get through the game. Two of my good friends were sitting next to me the entire game and im sure they were embarrassed by my yelling, but at the moment I didn't care these players were ahead and i wanted them to win. I eventually ended up standing up with another parent to cheer and we were constantly asking everyone else to stand up. I loved being so into something that i forgot about everything else in the world for that moment. I could not talk during the game because i was screaming so loudly. By the end of the game, my voice was just rasp and i was beginning to have a tension head ache for tensing up so much. No matter how badly my throat hurt from screaming or how badly my neck hurt from tensing up at every exciting play in the game it was all worth it to see the looks on the girls faces when they, fourth in region, came back to win region. I was passionate about cheering them on, but moreover they were fired up and passionate about basketball and that is what won them a region champion ship.

i dont know what im doing

So recently, as in this week. I have been contemplating what it would be like to have a blog. As i was reading other people's blogs I remembered that I had one of my own from school! I signed on, did some dilly dallying and here i am writing my first blog. My grammar and spelling is probably terrible but oh well, you'll just have to deal. I dont really have anything to write about on my mind right now. Well i am a little nervous about starting this little journey, but i figured if im going to college nine hours from home and from my highschool friends someone might want to here about my life every once in a while. Hopefully this thing won't end up to wacked out. thats all for now...